Posted by Emme on June 30, 2003, at 23:53:08
In reply to Hospital experiences made me a better person, posted by maryhelen on June 30, 2003, at 22:29:49
Hi Maryhelen
Thanks for being willing to share your experiences. I've heard good and bad about people's experiences. Hearing what you and Miller said makes me a little less afraid should I need to go.
I totally agree that going through what we go through makes us more compassionate about mental illness. Several years ago I would have been appalled at my current situation. I wasn't *totally* unsympathetic towards people with psychiatric problems, but I wouldn't have been able to understand at all. And I had some inaccurate preconceptions. Nowadays I'm more open than many people, though I carefully choose who I tell.
> If I can do a small part by taking away the stigma of mental illness, by being forthcoming and honest, than my life has more meaning to it than if I had never been ill, even though it has been hell one earth.
Well put. I never thought of it quite that way. I definitely wonder how to best make my life meaningful. Maybe it already has been in ways that I didn't think of.
> Do you think your mother would want to try, at least to listen and understand you, or go to your funeral.Well, the funeral sure wouldn't be high on her list. :) Though when the suicidal feelings are strong, all that doesn't matter. Sound selfish, but it just gets drowned out because the pain is so intense. Brio d Chimps posting below about the last suicide did pack a punch. I should print it out and keep it on hand.
But anyway, the effort of trying to get Mom to understand me and get through to her on the issue of medication would be exhausting. She makes enough unkind comments as it is. It's not the time. Maybe some day, if I can prep her somehow before hitting with the full ugly truth.
My dad is in the know. But even he doesn't really fully get it. And I think he doesn't want to - it would upset him too much, poor guy. He wants to know a little. Sorry for the rambling. I guess the strain of my family is on my mind. They're nutty in the first place. Dinah is right that I have to do what's in my best interests without regard to what anyone will think.
Okay, I run on when it's late and I'm tired.
Take care,Emme
poster:Emme
thread:236508
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/238344.html