Posted by yesac on June 25, 2003, at 20:05:55
In reply to Re: Getting worser and worser » yesac, posted by Emme on June 25, 2003, at 19:51:59
> I don't know how to know when it's justified...when I'm sick enough. One day I might feel like it's necessary, but then by the next day I've improved and moved up to "just plain miserable". I can generally get up, shower, pick up things at the drugstore, and do some basics. But I'm worn and scared and think about death a lot. I just don't know. But it seems like talking to her about it isn't a bad idea. Then maybe I'd be more inclined to go if it's really the right thing...
>Yes! That is exactly how I feel. I just really don't know if I could ever bring myself to believe that it really is time to go to the hospital. How do you define "necessary"? I know that many of my therapists probably wished desperately that they could get me to go, but knew how totally against being forced into something like that I am. I mean, if for days my thoughts keep returning to suicide, if I ponder my pills and dump them into my hand, if I write out quasi-suicide notes.... does that mean I should go? How do I KNOW that I "can't keep myself safe"? I've always managed before, somehow. I don't like to promise that I will, but I never really know if I can for sure.
It's so hard...
I also do think that it's good to discuss with your therapist, just to get the idea in your head. I never would even have considered it if we hadn't talked about it.
I hope that you've felt better today, a least a little bit.
poster:yesac
thread:236508
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/237044.html