Posted by Penny on June 30, 2003, at 22:45:10
In reply to roomate/friend » Penny, posted by yesac on June 30, 2003, at 14:42:27
> I just took my GRE a couple of weeks ago. Huge relief to be done with! I was very stressed out about it for several months. Now I'm annoyed though because I should have gotten my official scores last week (including the writing scores) and I didn't. Maybe I'll get them today...
What course of graduate study are you preparing for, if I might ask? (you don't have to share if you don't want to...)
> The problem is, it isn't just this book. It's like every book I've tried to read in the past 6 months! I just can't get into them. Except I did read a couple David Sedaris books in March.Still - don't be too hard on yourself! It's just not a good time for reading right now... it will all change at some point, doesn't it always?
>
> So about your friend... I know just how you feel. Well, I think. My best friend and I also have a lot of issues. We've really had a lot of ups and downs over the past 5 years. She has been very demanding, too much for me at times, and seems to have too high of expectations that I just can't live up to. There have been times that I thought I was going to lose her because things just didn't seem able to be resolved. But anyway, now things are going pretty well and we're both working on our own issues, which hopefully will improve the relationship. But we don't see each other that much. She lives in NY.I tend to attract a certain kind of person, which truly says something about me, I think. My best friend in middle/high school was very needy and had no self confidence. My best friend in college was also very needy and had lots of self confidence when it came to school but none in the rest of her life. Our friendship ended when she couldn't handle my making new friends after college. My best friend now is also needy, but seems to have a good bit of self confidence, although perhaps not ... I dunno. I'm tired right now and my brain is not working all too well! But, my point is, she has told me I have 'hurt' her periodically throughout our friendship. She can name specific times and situations, none of which were things done with the intention of hurting her. So I'm listening to the therapist here with the "let it go, it's her stuff, not yours" but still struggling. So I told her that she's not the only one who has been hurt in this relationship, and she says, "When have I hurt you?" and I can't name specifics b/c I don't think about things in that way, but I told her that everytime she comes home in a pissy mood and doesn't tell me what's wrong but doesn't talk to me, it makes me wonder what I've done wrong and it hurts me. Because sometimes it's about me, and sometimes it's not. So I told her that she needs to just tell me then and there when I do something to piss her off, not hold it in and wait and then lay it all on me at one time!!!!!
Does that make any sense? I apologize if it doesn't...
>
> I wanted to ask you if you've ever thought of DBT? I am in it now, and honestly I really hate it. But I am trying to stay with it because I think that it has the potential to really help me.Are you in the program at neurosciences? My therapist has mentioned the possibility of DBT to me if things got that bad. I think she was referring to SI or something like that, which I haven't had a problem with as of late. What do you hate about it? How long does it last?
g'nite.
P
poster:Penny
thread:237889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/238323.html