Posted by WorryGirl on April 29, 2003, at 1:45:22
In reply to Re: Am I Dumb, Boring, Invisible, Fake or Weird? All? » WorryGirl, posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 28, 2003, at 11:33:07
> Don't worry, WorryGirl.
> I ask myself the same questions quite a bit. It always seems like no one listens to me, responds to my posts, or whatever. It was a popular topic for me in therapy. I almost feel like I'm not "real" in some way that everyone else is, because people can take a glance at me, seem to size up that I'm not worth attention, and focus on whoever else is around. Both men and women. It's really like I'm not there at all. I'm thinking that I just tend to talk about things that don't interest other people. Just wish I could find someone else that was interested.Eddie,
Sorry that you go through this, too. What did your therapist suggest was the reason for this? If you're like me, don't you try to talk about the topic at hand, but gradually get ignored as they expand upon other topics?
Maybe what they're talking about is really boring you, and you would love to talk about something more meaningful, and they can sense that. There is definitely an art to "small talk"; one that I have never mastered. I always end up digging in too deep, too quickly and it's perceived as weird or socially inept.
Eddie, I don't think you're boring at all. You just aren't connecting in the same way. Maybe one day we'll get there. I need to follow this advice, too, but why don't you try just nodding your head, making minimal comments and laughing at appropriate moments? You might be bored out of your mind, but maybe that's what it would take to be an active part of the group. You may find that you really don't want to be after all; but it still hurts to be ignored, etc.> Anyway, it really bothers me, and I can relate. Don't feel bad about bringing it up, because that's how you address issues like this, and it's not just self-pity. It made me glad to hear that I'm not the only one that feels this way.
> btw, little kids and old people *do* seem to notice me, and in my lack of interest for them, I probably make them feel the same way.
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LMAO - me too! It's so funny when I'm at the grocery store with my kids and someone else's child is smiling and waving at me, but their parent is giving me the stony cold stare, like "how dare you interact with my perfect child?". Elderly people often do try to strike up conversations with me. If I have a few moments I'll chat with them - they are so lonely that it's hard to get away. They'd go on for hours, bless them.Take care, and remember, you always have a voice at this site, even if no one happens to respond. There are probably many people who never post messages but love to read them. Thinking about this, I'm starting to get paranoid that someone I know has read mine - yikes.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:222858
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/223075.html