Posted by Alara on May 3, 2003, at 6:03:27
In reply to Am I Dumb, Boring, Invisible, Fake or Weird? All?, posted by WorryGirl on April 28, 2003, at 8:28:16
> Which is it folks? Please help me out here....
> I've fallen and I can't get up.
Worrygirl, this wasn't a `stupid post' at all. I really feel your pain. It isn't easy to go through life feeling as though you don't fit in, as though nobody wants to know you. Whether or not your belief reflects the objective truth, that feeling causes pain.We are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves sometimes, you know. It's part of being human. I, for one, reserve the right to having my self pity attacks. I figure that they have a good place in my life - just so long as they don't take over my entire day. Nobody ever moved forward by sweeping all the bad feelings under the carpet.
What was it about the d*** 7th/8th grade?? I was also teased mercilessly for being too sensitive and `goody goody' until I moved to another school and gained more confidence in myself. Later, in my mid twenties, I sat with my therapist working through the trauma of those teasing days. That type of experience definitely scars a person.
My every-day life these days still contains traces of those scars. I suffer from Dinah's `weird syndrome'. I am somehow a little too sentimental, a little too warm, and a little too articulate to fit in with the majority of my peers. I lack the `cool vibes'.. In a social group I often feel invisible.Whenever I start in a new office it takes others time to figure me out and accept me. That still hurts but it causes far less pain than it previously did, because I now have a greater understanding of what's really important. After people have known me for a long time, they usually have MORE respect for me than they do for the average person, because they start to warm to the real me. (Part of the reason that I am not cool lies in the fact that I AM so transparent; I am just me.)
Worrygirl, I've found that it often helps to remind myself that one person's opinion of me does not reflect the opinion of everybody. It helps me so much to remember that rejection by one person is precisely as it sounds: rejection by ONE person. It also helps to remember that people's opinions change over time, that feeling comfortable with another person is just a matter of getting to know them. For some of us, that process just takes longer.
I'm glad you wrote this post. It's comforting to know that i'm not the only person in this world who feels `weird'.
Hope this helps a little. Best regards,
Alara
poster:Alara
thread:222858
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/224032.html