Posted by sienna on April 4, 2003, at 15:03:21
In reply to Re: Hi Miller » sienna, posted by Miller on April 4, 2003, at 8:09:07
hi again,
part of the reason i think i want to understand is that i want to make sure the cycle is broken. well i don think i have to worry too much, i think i would never ever hurt anyoen so im not to worried. But i guess i want to understand that kind of behavior i dont know why. I think all of what you wrote is right.
i think right now i am pretty close to my parents. I decided a long time ago that i couldnt let them change who I am and i couldnt let them believve that im somone that im not. So im as honest as possible and tell them things that probably a lot of people dont tell their parents. I dont hide a lot fromthem becuase i want them to love me for who i am, and if they dont know the true me then how do i know that they really love me. It was too much questioning all the time so i show them true unconditioning love and except the same in return. And the ball is in thier court then, i have done all i can.
And i think they appreciate it. they dont probably tell me everything, but i feel that they know me pretty well. Hell i even told them about hospitliaztion and also about doing drugs. They worry some but they say im an adult its up to me. And that i really appreciate becuase when i was little and being hit, i had no control over anything, and now i see that I have ultimate control over my life and that is a beautiful thing especially with the contrast of how it was when i was a teenager and even early twenties.
Over all i am happy in life even with symproms fo my illness, but overall i know i have control and that my life is my story to write and I am choosing carefully and freely. And that is wonderful.
Wow im wriring a book here, but i guess i just am happier with my relationship with my parents since i dealt with a lot of stuff around 1995 or so. There is still stuff ot deal with, he did some crappy things to me a couple years ago, but i stood up for myself and drew my boundary line in the dirt and said, this is my line, dont cross it or there are repercussions. Well thats not exactly what i said but that was the general gist of it. And things have been pretty peachy since.
I understand some of where he is coming from, but he cant rule me anymore.
Freedom is bliss.
Thanks for posting Miller your helping me work thruogh a lot of stuff.
Sienna
poster:sienna
thread:215787
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030401/msgs/216235.html