Posted by ROO on December 13, 2002, at 11:49:41
In reply to Re: On anger...Eddie Sylvano » ROO, posted by Eddie Sylvano on December 13, 2002, at 9:56:16
>
> It was pretty lousy. We'd been married for
about 6 years (my first and only love at the
time), and I'd never had a better or closer best
friend. The worst part was that they both lied
about ever even talking to each other during our
seperation, which left me wondering why my
friend didn't seem interested in talking to me
anymore, when we previously spent a great deal of
time together. I only found out about their
marriage because a friend of my grandma worked
the info out of my ex's former boss at the
greeting card store. Oh yeah, and she told me
she wanted a divorce on Christmas Eve. Bah.
> As for the question, yes, I had a relatively
normal desire to have friends before all this
happened, and this has only developed in the years
following that. No matter how much time I spend
with guys nowadays, I never feel any closer to
them as friends, and don't really want to
(and the situation's not much different with
women). It's sad because I used to have great
times hanging out with my buddies, just goofing
around, mountain biking, playing frisbee, talking
. It was the cheapest and easiest way I've ever
experienced so much happiness. Now I just feel
really awkward about it, and can't relate to
potential friends.
Well...I guess the good news is that if you felt that way (that friendships brought you great happiness)...a relatively
short amount of time ago...there's a pretty darn good chance that you CAN
repair yourself, heal, and feel that way again. It's no wonder you feel so
empty...friendships and mates are kind of like the meat and potatoes of life...
and there's a real emotional void/wasteland there (I don't need to tell you that, you already
know that)....there's been a ton of emotional betrayal and damage done...but I really
feel it can be healed with the help of a good, insightful therapist. I really hope
you find a good one. How's your work life? Just curious, did you have depression
before you divorce, or did it come afterwards? How long has it been since the divorce?I'm gonna try to quit smoking in January too....
>
poster:ROO
thread:33113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33306.html