Posted by Ç®ëëþý Tabitha on November 1, 2002, at 13:39:33
In reply to Re: Sounds oddly familiar. » Ç®ëëþý Tabitha, posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 1, 2002, at 10:14:49
Eddie, can I interrupt our rant to ask if you ever tried any kind of support groups? I went to mixed male-female support groups, and it seemed like the guys were getting emotional support from each other. Much more so than the typical guy buddy type of relationship. Don't know if you'd exactly call it love, but it might help.
Back to my ranting... I never felt particularly loved in any of my sexual relationships. I never even felt understood and accepted. Those needs are met much better by myself, my therapist, and a few select women friends.
The validation thing... yes, I think you're right about women being in it for the validation rather than the pleasure. Social programming there. After all, the part that gives women pleasure is called "foreplay" and they're lucky to get it, while the part that gives men pleasure is called "sex" and therefore the main event. Women are trained to be ashamed of wanting sexual pleasure, and less likely to assert their needs to men, so naturally they've found other reasons to enjoy sex than the physical. Guys can be in it for validation too, just a different type. They want to feel like they're great lovers and have a lot of conquests, whereas women want to feel like they're desirable.
poster:Ç®ëëþý Tabitha
thread:31790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021022/msgs/31905.html