Re: Hi Judy

Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2002, at 11:14:29

In reply to Hi Dinah » Dinah, posted by judy1 on October 2, 2002, at 23:49:51

I really am sorry you are having such a rough time. I just love closet time, it's so safe and quiet. I'm also glad you feel ready to reach out a bit again. Just make you sure you keep your safety at the front of your mind. I hope the Truhope program works, but I know that you have a solid support team, and if it doesn't look like it's working they'll be aware and help you change course.
I'm under lots of stress right now, and reacting to it like I usually do. I'm wrapping myself in a tight little ball to ease the pain in my stomach. And I'm finding it rather difficult to post because I'm all turned in on myself. I sometimes wonder if I will ever be fit to meet the challenges of a normal adult life. I see all the things I'm doing wrong but the compulsion to do them is stronger than my ability to change.
I too have slipped in the SI area, to my shame. Things have been going on in therapy that I think stretched my ability to cope a bit too far, so I'm backing way off. Maybe it's better to be half alive but in less pain. And I'm thinking of trying Lexapro, just because I don't know how long I can stand the current feelings. So far I've been able to keep the SI a secret, because I don't really want anyone to know. The people in my life just seem to get angry. And my tolerance for anger is extremely low right now.
Work is my biggest stressor, but I just don't see any way to escape it. And I have the sneaking suspicion that if I did, the family stresses would increase and I wouldn't be any better in the long run.
Sigh. So I'm pacing around and around like the tiger stuck at the zoo. No way out. And I'm hurting myself just like a trapped animal chews itself.
Ah well, I know this too shall pass. The delights of cyclothymia. There will be times that I can deal with all of this.
More than you wanted to hear, I'm sure. :)
Dinah

Thread

Judy, how are you? Dinah 9/26/02
it was kind of you to ask » Dinah judy1 9/27/02
Re: it was kind of you to ask » judy1 Dinah 9/27/02
Hi Dinah » Dinah judy1 10/2/02
Re: Hi Judy Dinah 10/3/02
I'm sorry Dinah » Dinah judy1 10/3/02
Re: I'm sorry Dinah » judy1 Dinah 10/3/02
debt » Dinah judy1 10/3/02
Re: debt » judy1 Dinah 10/3/02
secrets---Dinah and Judy shar 10/3/02
Re: secrets---Dinah and Judy » shar Dinah 10/4/02
Re: secrets---Dinah Mashogr8 10/4/02
Re: Thanks :) I came clean. » Mashogr8 Dinah 10/4/02
Re: Thanks :) I came clean. Tabßitha 10/4/02
Re: Thanks :) I came clean. mashogr8 10/5/02

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