Posted by JANNBEAU (homenym) on March 25, 2002, at 20:41:35
In reply to In love with my therapist, posted by allisonf on March 24, 2002, at 6:45:40
>Hi, Allison. I read some of the postings between you and Dinah. Her advice seems really good.
Couple of other thoughts: 1)Although I could be wrong, I think the psychoanalysts felt that a good therapeutic relationship enevitably leads to transference. If so, you're finally getting there, after ten years or so! SOOO--transference isn't a bad thing, handled right--which is your therapist's job!
I like the thing that Dinah did to work through hers--imagining the relationship all the way to its logical--or illogical conclusion--I think there's a name for this technique that goes way back, too. It may also be a form of cognitive therapy, which brings me to my suggestion: When these thoughts, ruminations BOTHER you, use the technique of Thought Stopping, another cognitive therapy tenet. No emotion can occur without a thought first occurring. You can stop the thoughts and thereby stop the emotion. You tell yourself "STOP" and, perhaps, name the thought "stop thinking of so and so in this way or "stop thinking of so and so PERIOD". Do it as many times as you need to eliminate the pesky, obcessive thoughts UNTIL you are READY to deal with them, either completely, or on that specific day.
Again, just a couple of other ways to look at this normal occurrance, especially if it gets in the way with your everyday life.
Cheers,
Jannbeau
Hi all,
> This issue has really been troubling me lately, and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced transference like this. My issue: I have been going to the same therapist on and off for 10 yrs and was just recently diagnosed cyclothymic. All the other times I have gone to her (for anxiety), it has never gotten this intense (I think I was holding back a lot and am now getting down to another level). I have always had a high regard for her, but lately I can't stop thinking about her. And what makes it weirder to me is that we are both female and I've never really been attracted to women before (i'm married), but suddenly I am thinking of her romantically, maternally, sexually, etc. I am constantly rehearsing in my head what I will say to her next and therapy is becoming the focal point of my week. I can't help but think this is unhealthy. Yes, I have told her about this, we spent awhile talking about it, but she says it will resolve itself eventually, be patient, etc. Should we keep talking about it (and take time away from other issues) or will talking about it continue to fuel the fire? And yes, it is truly transference in that this thing with her mimics previous dysfunctional relationships I have had with men, all of which ended badly. I guess the idea is that if this is resolved positively, then it will *change my life*, right?! But how to "resolve" it??? Any ideas?
> Thanks for listening!
> Allison
poster:JANNBEAU (homenym)
thread:20769
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020325/msgs/20898.html