Posted by Dinah on March 13, 2002, at 18:29:04
In reply to Mea Culpa, posted by trouble on March 13, 2002, at 12:22:24
Geez, trouble. You really need to look up the definition of mea culpa. That was more of a shea culpa. My gremlins? Setting you up? Yikes. I guess this mea culpa thing is new to you.
Don't worry about it though because I didn't find it particularly insulting. It was just too far off the mark. My self esteem is just fine, thank you very much. I have a very clear and accurate picture of my strengths and weaknesses and I have come to terms (for the most part) with both.
I will reiterate however, that my only game was not playing any games at all. I asked you about middle class values because you had expressed the sort of viewpoints that led me to believe that you would be able to explain what I had never clearly understood. I stated clearly that this was my reason for asking you. I wasn't at all insulted or wounded by your answer and didn't see it as a personal attack at all. And I left the board for the sake of my own mental health, which was frighteningly precarious at the time, not to play games with you.
The problem came about from your love of ambiguity and my fear of ambiguity. You don't like to spell things out. I do. And if things aren't spelled out, I tend to try to connect the dots myself. I may or may not do it correctly, but it is frightening to me. I think I actually told you this, although the point of my post may not have been clear. I told you that I was terrified of the Unspoken. And I am. Perhaps I should have been more clear.
Apart from the ambiguity, I always enjoyed our exchanges, as I not infrequently told you. It isn't often that I find someone of your wit and verbal abilities with whom to spar in a friendly manner. I wish that we could continue the exchanges. But I'm afraid that I overestimated my own ability and my own ego strength - not to mention my own mental health.
As I said before, no hard feelings. I wish you all the best.
I am again being totally honest and vulnerable. I hope that you can take it in that spirit and not be offended or angry. And if you find my reply pathetic and worthy of ridicule, I ask you to keep that to yourself. I know you don't suffer fools gladly and I fear that I have been very much a fool my entire time on this board.
Oh and thanks for the "her usual creative wit and metaphor". It means a lot coming from you. And I'll politely not notice the less flattering parts of this and the previous posts on this thread.
Fondly,
Dinah
poster:Dinah
thread:19517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19800.html