Posted by Dinah on March 13, 2002, at 17:43:54
In reply to Dinah's friends, posted by trouble on March 9, 2002, at 13:55:38
Well, if this posts it means that Dr. Bob didn't remove my registration. Thanks a lot Dr. Bob.
My therapist just gave me permission to start reading the board again and I was ... overwhelmed reading this thread and its permutations. He hasn't lifted his recommendation against posting, but since this thread concerns me, I'll give it a shot anyway.
Thanks everyone who had kind words and wished I would stay. I'm really don't think that I can. This board plays into my personal vulnerabilities in a way that is just not good for me. I can't begin to explain or even understand it, but oddly enough trouble was right. It has something to do with lack of ego strength and I still don't even know what that means, although my therapist and I spent an hour today talking about it. It's still all calculus to me.
IsoM, I'm sorry if you were upset about the e-mail address. I changed it after I sent it to you and I just couldn't remember who I had sent it to. I was not at my best.
I didn't mean to be in any way cryptic about my leaving. It just wasn't and isn't possible to explain the reasons.
And the agitated feeling I am getting reading the posts and writing my response feels so familiar. It is the main reason I left and the reason I don't think I am strong enough to come back.
I do want to say this most emphatically. I never played any games, unless you call my experiment with being totally open and vulnerable a game. (By the way, the results were not good and my personal recommendation would be against total openness and vulnerability on the internet.) Oh, and I will admit to a certain love of wordplay. So my posts may have been carefully worded but they were always honest to the utmost of my ability.
poster:Dinah
thread:19517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19789.html