Posted by wendy b. on December 16, 2001, at 22:19:52
In reply to Re: So sad. » Mair, posted by Dinah on December 15, 2001, at 19:46:22
> Thanks Mair,
> I did see my therapist and it made matters worse. I tried to suggest procedural changes and he was unwilling even to look at his schedule before seeing me so that he could give me a definite time at the beginning of the session without my having to wait like a helpless child as he figured out when he would be available.He really really sounds awful, and he CAN'T be good for you.
>He was angry with me and asked that really stupid question "Why are you choosing to upset yourself and make yourself miserable."
That is the most insensitive thing I've ever heard reported by a client about their therapist. It's on the list of "10 Things not to say to Depressed People." Plus the fact he knows you cut, so if he doesn't know he needs to treat you tenderly and with care, he's absolutely out in the cold.
> I went home and cut more badly than usual for me -used a razor blade. Now I feel really ashamed.
I'm sorry about the cutting. Please don't be hard on yourself, you did it, you wish you hadn't, but you can't undo it.
> My next appt is Fri. evening and I am afraid that if it goes badly I will have a horrific Christmas.
This is the Friday before Christmas? Please, be kind to yourself and skip it. I can pretty much guarantee you that if you do see him, it will break your heart even more, and then Christmas WILL be awful. The best present you could give yourself is to cancel. Trust me. I generally am not so blunt about prescribing courses of action for people I know and love on the Board (or anyone for that matter). But in this case, I think it would be an expression of power (you don't HAVE to see this guy if you don't want to and you think he's insensitive), and you need to feel more powerful in this situation. Focus on your son, try to keep from cutting, etc. You don't need the therp to make you feel worse about yourself.
>I am barely holding it together today with an extra dose of Klonopin, and as that wears off my skin is starting to burn again. I've hardly been able to eat since this all started.
Try as much as possible to eat, even if it feels like you can't. If your blood sugar is low, you'll be even less able to cope. Yo might try Xanax...
> My son is an adorable five year old and I really don't want to mess up Christmas for him.
Everyone is right on this score: you could not ruin it for him, you sound like you love him very much. As long as you express this to him, in physical affection and attention, an extra story before bed, etc., just these little things make a child feel loved and wanted, and it's easy to love your own kid. And that's really all they need.
Go easy on yourself. I think cutting off all contact, for good, with this therapist would be the best thing you could ever do for yourself. It's like a bad love affair - you have to just go cold turkey. I hope you can summon the strength to do this... And I'm thinking about you and sending good vibes your way. Wish I could help more... Please write back -
> Thanks for listening.
> Dinah
Wendy
poster:wendy b.
thread:15586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011216/msgs/15661.html