Posted by akc on December 7, 2001, at 16:28:09
In reply to Re: StillinSmallTownwithsnowontreesin Canada, posted by Greg A. on December 7, 2001, at 16:07:45
Snow, what's snow? It hit 75 in KC this week -- I hate hot weather. Bah, humbug!
I think some of my depression stems from the fact that I cannot think my way out of this. For 5 years I have sought help, and for 2 1/2 years I've really sought help, working with some of the more talented folks in this region. Yet, I sit here today in misery -- and in anger.
As a small child, in a horrible environment, I'm suppose to look back and give that little child kudo's for how creative (how smart) she was for keeping her self safe. Yet, I cannot seem to keep myself safe now. Seems ironic, in an Alanis sort of way.
I haven't tried every med, and I am not always the most compliant -- not compliant at all this week -- what with the drinking and cutting. But, all in all, I do work at this. So more anger -- how did I land back here, so low?
A lot of this is rhetorical -- though anyone may respond with ideas. I just don't know where I am going right now. Trying to put one foot forward with work -- digging myself out of that hole so I have the job -- for the insurance, the salary, the self-esteem.
akc
poster:akc
thread:15099
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15193.html