Posted by Kingfish on August 12, 2001, at 16:00:32
In reply to More on aloneness, posted by AKC on August 12, 2001, at 13:34:40
So happy that you are back. I was very sad when you decided to take a break, not certain how long it would be. I understood why, though.
I, too create the situation, the reason that I am alone a lot. When I feel strong, I don't mind being alone, but then when I feel strong, I tend to be more outgoing, and around others more.
But the reason the phone doesn't ring, at least for me, is that I have created relationships where I have to be the one to instigate it. I guess that I thought I fooled everyone "darn good" but really they noticed I was hiding a lot of the time.
Your tone sounds very different, very down. The suicidal thoughts are very upsetting, and so many of us here understand those. I, personally don't think anything horrible in an afterlife would happen to a suicide, but there's always the aftermath here. Your pets, at the very least, and I'm sure they're like family to you, as they are to me.
I think your meds are acting crappy, like mine are right now. I need to go back to a point in the spring when the Topamax was helping more but I have to have something to counteract the sedation. Wow, how did this get to be about me? ;)
I would rather not spend time with anyone who would drain me, like it sounds this person might have done. Better to be alone, and try to determine how to meet folks who will be mutually stimulating and helpful. And this board is a lifeline of sorts. :)
Glad you're back.
- K.
poster:Kingfish
thread:9358
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9371.html