Posted by phillybob on April 13, 2001, at 23:11:00
In reply to Re: -- phillybob, mila, and all , posted by Kingfish on April 13, 2001, at 19:54:19
> And what if that person Suddenly realizes that you're stronger than before and starts "straightening up" when faced with the concept that you actually could leave? Is it too late after ten years of a fairly dysfuncional relationship?
Hmmmm. And ... hmmmmmm. You know?
How's the communication on the matter? If not the greatest, since you are feeling better and the one that has "changed", I'd try to initiate some discussion on the matter. Or, try to speak with a counselor together. Depends upon the nature of the dysfunctionality and what compromises or changes are able to be made. But, based upon the decade of shared history, I would not necessarily write off the relationship so quickly, that's for sure (unless, the dysfunctionality is of a more serious nature; i.e. abusive, physically or emotionally). Patience, especially if your wellness is such a new thing, would be in order because your perception of your situation is also quite new and might take some time to understand it more objectively (?). That's about the most that I can say without getting in trouble for practicing therapy without a license. :)
In other news, I know somewhat what you are talking about and can relate, but for me, maybe it's more of a mood thing. If feeling a bit hypomanic, I often want to cut loose of my gal and experience so much in life ... mostly unhinged by anyone at all. When I'm feeling down, I feel guilty cause I can't be what she needs. When I'm just right, the relationship's just about right. Of course, throw in her moodiness, and one can see that this is no easy task staying together. But, we communicate and that has been our saving grace, thus far.
P.S. Had to get rid of my name from the subject line. :)
poster:phillybob
thread:5588
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5653.html