Posted by coral on October 24, 2000, at 14:08:15
In reply to oh thankyou so much coral, posted by laural on October 24, 2000, at 9:37:13
Dear Laural,
You're welcome. I'm pleased that I could help.
How our "significant others" feel about us, and whatever problems we may have, is crucial. My husband is the most wonderful man in the world. On the other hand, my sister considers the depression to be a weakness in me. So, I shelter myself from my sister when the "beast" is here. I hate that depression impacts me, and consequently, my husband (part of the self-loathing that comes with it, I guess), but the bouquet of life comes with both roses and thorns. Part of my honoring our commitment is to handle the depression to the best of my ability, which means most importantly honest communication. As an example, I had a perfectly wretched day last week, due to a flood of very painful, very old memories and instead of talking with him about it, I just withdrew until evening, when I told him I needed to be comforted. Within ten minutes, I felt better. He asked how long I'd been hurting and I told him. He said, "Next time, tell me in the morning so you don't have to spend the day in agony when there's something I can do to help." By the same token, on just a "gray" day, I do my best not to buckle under it - everyone has "gray" days. It's also very important to tell him when I'm feeling great - so he can relax, and also so we can celebrate the healing victories.
poster:coral
thread:1359
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1561.html