Posted by Mark H. on October 17, 2000, at 11:10:51
In reply to Re: A little clarification please....All, posted by Snowie on October 17, 2000, at 7:15:09
Hi Snowie,
I always get a lot from your postings, and once again you've raised some important questions. I'd like to respond for myself, realizing that I don't speak for others.
Sometimes I can't get back to the board for days or even weeks, depending usually on my workload. Now, for instance, there's a slight pause at work, and I may actively respond for several days in a row to all sorts of postings. My responses range from two-liners ("ask your physician if there is another medicine your kids could try; the meds should help, not make matters worse") to lengthy forays into new territory, where I'm sometimes (hopefully) skillful and sometimes way off base.
But more to your point: I've told my story in detail several times and from multiple perspectives. I've offered my opinion on as many major subjects as I believe I have something to add to. Usually I won't respond to a post that has already been dealt with superbly by one of our generous regulars, or one on a topic that I've addressed previously at length. It's important to give other people a chance to step up and speak.
For me, it's not a matter of ignoring the regulars and only responding to someone new who is asking for help or feedback, it's just a matter of whether I have anything useful or substantive to add. Likewise, I prefer not to respond at all if I think my comments would be unkind or unhelpful or not well received. But the latter requires testing the water sometimes.
I think it is both practical and effective for people who expeience an affinity with a poster to be the ones to respond. So yes, over time, I tend to "talk" with certain people more than with others, not because I imagine myself to belong to a clique (that's ironically painful/humorous to me as a chronic outsider), but because that's where I may be of use.
For example, there is plenty of room on this board for people in their early twenties to discuss the issues and problems experienced at their age: jobs, beginning careers, finishing education, dating, personal ambition, first marriages, just beginning therapy, etc. But the perspectives of those of us who are 30 years older may not be as sympathetic or helpful as good responses from people their own age, who are successfully dealing with similar issues from the same set of personal (and current) experiences.
I sincerely hope that the support for the quiet majority you mentioned is included in all of our responses. I've received correspondence from people off-list who regularly lurk but have posted perhaps only once or twice, or not at all.Are you getting what you need, Snowie? You give so generously and freely of your heart and mind and considerable people and legal skills. I'm glad you're here.
Mark H.
poster:Mark H.
thread:1083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1197.html