Posted by caraher on July 5, 2008, at 15:10:59
In reply to Re: He wants a 3some..., posted by ladydeath220 on July 2, 2008, at 17:27:08
How insistent has he been? On one hand, if he casually remarked that the threesome is something he'd like to try, you said no and that was the end of it, you probably need not worry.
On the other hand, if he keeps coming back to it, I think that's a real red flag. I actually disagree with the idea of proposing you and two guys to throw it back in his face. Sure, there might be some satisfaction in revealing a double standard, but I think the real issue is his willingness to respect your perfectly reasonable needs. (Plus you never know - if it really is "gee i wonder what tomato juice taste like" he might take you up on the offer, and that's doesn't sound like what you want!)
(Lengthy, ranting aside... what is it with bad food-related analogies and sex? Why is it like "gee i wonder what tomato juice taste like" and not, say, "gee I wonder what it feels like to take someone's life?" I know of a guy who defended his sleeping around to his girlfriend by comparing it to his feelings about pizza and lobster - "Sure, I hanker for a greasy slice of pizza sometimes, but lobster is definitely my favorite and I'd choose it over pizza anyday. And you're lobster." (paraphrased - but the foods are the actual examples) I'm sure there's nothing more flattering than being likened to a marine crustacean! And I'm disgusted by "why buy the cow if you're giving away milk for free?" as sage advice for abstinence. Is sex really such a one-sided transaction in which the woman's value lies in her "production?")
Anyway, if he can't hear and respect your wishes that's a huge problem... and the solution is not to "give in!"
poster:caraher
thread:837505
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20071110/msgs/838222.html