Posted by LJRen on January 1, 2007, at 23:50:50
In reply to for argument's sake.... » LJRen, posted by karen_kay on January 1, 2007, at 9:22:36
question is, how long does one wait for love to grow? especially when he claims that he will never love me. (even though he has never given me a reason.)
we dated 12 yrs ago in college. he's had 3 girlfriends since. between each somehow he & I would reunite - but not emotionally for him. when he started dating the 3rd gf, he also did something very hurtful to me in the process, so I wrote him off. however, a few years later, on a fluke, I started chatting w/ him when he appeared online out of the blue. he was very apologetic and I made the choice to let him back into my life.
he's remained single since then, which has been almost 3 years now. but I attribute that to his financial & emotional state b/c he quit a good job to find himself & later decided to start his own business and it hasn't been easy. during all that though, he's been there for me a lot. hours & hours on the phone helping me deal w/ my depression problems. he's traveled out of state to work on my vehicle & help me move. according to him though, he just likes to help people and his actions didn't mean that I was special to him.
I'm a big believer that things happen for a reason. why have we been brought back together 3 times since our initial meeting in college? and after that last gf, I was over him, had no feelings, nothing. so especially why was he brought back into my life this last time? I love him now more than ever, and him returning and continuing not to love me seems like the universe is just trying to torture me. if he is never going to love me, then why couldn't life just have kept him away from me?
i'm sorry to whine on about this guy. a dozen years will do that to ya i guess. and my lack of self-respect is to blame for most of this anyway. any smart girl wouldn't let a guy use her in between every gf. but he's not a total schmuck. he's done so much for me and he makes me feel so good when i'm around him. it's really all very confusing.
thanks,
Ren
poster:LJRen
thread:717689
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/718435.html