Posted by Wildflower on December 29, 2006, at 17:13:17
In reply to Re: How much fighting is too much? » Wildflower, posted by Tamar on December 29, 2006, at 7:24:09
> I think different people have different thresholds about acceptable amounts of fighting. Some people feel happy and secure despite lots of shouting and screaming (typically they enjoy the making-up part of the fight, which occurs in the bedroom). Other people can’t feel secure with more than very occasional conflict. What’s acceptable to you?
I hate drama so I tend to be pretty easy going unless I deem the situation "conflict-worthy". If it's a fundamental topic that will affect our future, than it is worth standing my ground. If it's a fight about not taking the garbage out, I have better ways to spend my time.
> It depends how you handle conflict.
I think you're absolutely right! Maybe it's not about the quantity of fights but the matter in which they are dealt with.
> I personally can’t tolerate being told I’m lazy or stupid or useless and if fights go that way I really do consider leaving him (I left once, overnight, and he talked me into coming back the next day).
Lazy and stupid? Yep, I've had those arguments too. They aren't easy to deal with.
poster:Wildflower
thread:717026
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/717343.html