Posted by llrrrpp on September 9, 2006, at 11:57:53
In reply to Re: Marriage » rfs, posted by curtm on September 7, 2006, at 14:44:16
Hi Ray,
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds very difficult. I work with a woman who fits many of the personality characteristics that you use to describe your wife.Usually my coworker's negativity and fault-finding controlling angry behavior is very closely related to a life-change. My guess is that menopause and empty-nesting have taken their toll on your wife. Her reaction to stress is to pick on others. It must be miserable to be her punching bag.
It might be a good time to suggest that your wife to back to individual's Therapy. I'm not sure how difficult this will be for her to accept, but tell her she seems stressed, and that she doesn't seem happy or satisfied. Tell her that you would like to do what you can to help the marriage, but that being her punching bag is not the solution.
Her stubborness to take medications is something best handled delicately. She sounds like the kind of person who, when told or asked to do something directly gets defensive. BUT, if you plant a seed in her head... like- I wonder whether the new medications that they're coming out with will be better than the old ones? I'm thinking about asking my doctor/therapist... let it slide for a week or so... then ask her if she would ever consider medication. How bad would it have to be for her to consider it? ...
Sounds pretty tricky.
Other suggestions:
Trial separation (worked well for my parents)
Back to the marriage counselorbest of luck to you, Ray
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:682787
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060621/msgs/684463.html