Posted by inimitable on August 15, 2006, at 14:39:10
In reply to Re: I'm going to hurl » inimitable, posted by Jost on August 15, 2006, at 12:27:30
i don't know why i am bored, maybe not bored just uncomfortable i guess. he doesn't seem to find it uncomfortable though, i have explained how i've been feeling to him just last night, i didn't tell him how i've been feeling like hurling, but i did say i was nervous and stuff. and he kind of...well, when he said just try not to think about it, think about other things, like he was trying to fix it for me, but i didn't tell him so he could offer up advice, and so i felt patronized i guess. and also he started kind of, not backing off or anything, but saying that we don't know what will happen between us and that i might end up falling in love with some guy and be happy....like that we might not go anywhere. because i asked him what he thought we were. and then he turned it around and asked me....but i turned it on him again and he said what we are is "as much as we can be" over the phone. i know it's only been a week and i don't normally go so fast and think about a guy this much. or it doesn't interrupt my life as much. but i am not going to be able to see him for another week and half (a day or two more actually) for the wedding.
so anyways the other thing is i have been wondering if i will end up being with him *intimately* or not. i know, already talking about sex and all, which is also something i don't normally do. sure, i'm no prude either, but i don't normally have sex with someone unless i am in a commited relationship where we both know we love eachother and all that. but those times didn't really mean anything to me, and now, with this guy i am feeling much more than i have ever felt before and i think, even though we'll have only been talking on the phone, i think i will end up being *intimate* with him, and i am looking forward to it like i have never looked forward to anything! i think it could be something. and even if he and i never became anything really deep or committed, and we didn't have a romantic relationship, i think i could handle it. i don't know, does anyone understand what i mean? i guess i'm trying to say is that right now, i DO feel open to a possible wonderful experience of enjoying sex and being intimate with someone even though i may not love them. does this sound weird? i hope i'm not offending anyone, i don't think i'm really making sense..i wish i knew how to word it better!sorry
*inimitable
poster:inimitable
thread:676044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060621/msgs/676733.html