Posted by stargazer on August 3, 2006, at 22:22:18 [reposted on August 6, 2006, at 10:05:56 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Stuck in my own head » rjlockhart, posted by Glydin on August 3, 2006, at 20:49:48
You sound alot like I did when I was your age, esp. in high school and college. I walked around with a feeling of not fitting in and not feeling like I had anything to contribute. I would try to explain this to my parents and my mother said everyone feels like that, even when I told her I was suicidal. I realized that I would have to help myself because my family was unable to be of any help. I never knew what to say to people, I couldn't talk because my brain didn't have a way of putting into words what I was thinking. When I finally got treated for depression some of this would go away if I was on the right medication. For me, the best medication were the MAO's, they made me less paranoid, more social and better able to express myself, almost normal.
I didn't get treated with meds until I was in my late 20's and even today, 20 years later, it is still a struggle to find balance in life. I had no idea at the time that treatment for depression would be this difficult.
All I can say is you can feel better but that it doesn't come easily, it requires alot of persistence and a doctor that you trust, to keep you going when you want to give up. If you hang in there, depression changes, and with or without meds, there is an ability to get beyond the worst. And with all the support that you can get here, it certainly helps. I had no one to talk to then back then (pre computer, pre- Internet), I just dealt with it myself, in the only way I could and missed out on alot of things in life. That is what I missed the most, just enjoying things and not feeling so unconnected with life, not caring about anything, just existing. It's amazing that I went to college and graduated.
Don't be too hard on yourself either. That was and is a big lesson to learn. Depression makes you doubt yourself and you have to keep hope that things will get better.
SG
poster:stargazer
thread:674246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060621/msgs/674250.html