Posted by ClearSkies on October 25, 2005, at 11:19:39
In reply to Re: broken heart, posted by d1alla on October 25, 2005, at 7:12:10
> Did you ever doubt your decision?
My doubts about what we'd done came and went with no rhyme or reason. I'd be OK for weeks, going forward and geting to know myself again; then something would happen (anything, really) - and I'd think, "I gotta call xxx and tell him!" All over again my fragile world would crumble apart. These are new habits we are developing. Learning to live alone and being content by myself was a rough journey for me. Some women feel liberated by their divorces; I felt inferior and that I had utterly failed in life.
When your life fell apart how did u pull it all together?
I threw myself into new activities, new jobs, new hobbies. Looking back it feels like I was running away from my past and who I'd been. All the running around did not make me feel any better about myself, and I spiralled into depression and anxiety, and sought therapy. Eventually I slowed down, became more introspective, and started working on my inner landscape. Most of my new friends dropped off, as they had become friends through the workplace. As I fled from job to job, the friends stayed behind. I explored, through therapy, reading lots and lots and lots of books! and journalling; just how I define myself. It was no longer possible - and it was never healthy - for me to think of myself in terms of the old relationship. Instead of two entire souls who had come together, we had instead been made "complete" by the other. What an illusion that was, and so bitterly realized.
poster:ClearSkies
thread:541478
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/571699.html