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Re: Need support to get over married lover! Help! » ariel

Posted by Tamar on June 28, 2005, at 14:50:23

In reply to Need support to get over married lover! Help!, posted by ariel on June 28, 2005, at 13:52:19

> I am so tired of thinking about him! It's pathetic! We haven't been a real couple (if we ever were) for over two years now, but i can't stop myself from answering his messages.

Are you single? Or are you married too?

> I broke up with him once. It didn't take. He made me into the bad guy.

I don’t want to sound too conventional, but there are some people who might suggest that he is the bad guy if he’s stringing you along while remaining married to another woman…

> I wouldn't play that role. I got back together with him. Circumstances have prevented us from actively pursuing what we had previously. I can't let go this time. I refuse to be one who does the breaking up.
>
> It's all so silly and childish. I need a figurative kick in the pants. Please help!

I would just ask... If you don't have what you used to have, are you content? Do you expect to continue to have a relationship with him for the next 20 years while he remains married to someone else?

It’s just my opinion, but I tend to think that single women in relationships with married men are unlikely to find much real happiness. All that waiting around, trying to get a chance to see him, keeping your relationship secret, never inviting other couples over for dinner, never spending holidays together, not being able to spend the night together on a regular basis…

It’s your life to live and your decision to make. But don’t sell yourself short!

Tamar


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poster:Tamar thread:520583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050627/msgs/520614.html