Posted by Tamar on June 22, 2005, at 16:38:32
In reply to Okay Would You do this?, posted by Susan47 on June 21, 2005, at 22:09:59
You’re 48, and a much younger (though unattractive) man wants to have sex with you. This is because you are a gorgeous, interesting and sensual woman, and when he looks at you he’s sure you’re a lay and a half.
You don’t want him the way he wants you. Although you ache to be touched and you can tell he hopes he can give you what you long for, nevertheless you know from the depths of your heart that his lovemaking will be self-centred, brief and inept. You know because you’ve been there before; not with him, but with others.
You ache to be touched by hands that fully appreciate the radiance of your skin. You might begin to imagine the warmth rising in places that have been waiting for another’s touch. You might wonder if he has the power to bring your passion to the boil. You’re tempted to give him the chance to prove himself, just because he wants it. It is purely the temptation of old ways of living; ways that belong in the past.
This temptation is only apparent in your slight weakening as you engage in polite conversation. But being desired like this is exhilarating, even if the kid desiring you lacks any semblance of the qualities you need in a man.
You have established new boundaries with strong foundations, like a flood barrier. You could keep the ocean from overcoming you if it were necessary.
And yet that desire you see in his eyes is the desire you crave. It’s the desire all child-women are taught to search for and to instil into our identity. It takes the longest time to comprehend that a man’s desire is not enough to compensate for his shortcomings.
Eventually, after some time of loving yourself, it becomes possible to distinguish desire from shortcomings, and to embrace both. It comes with your full knowledge of yourself and who you can be to others in the world. As you learn to separate yourself from others you simultaneously learn how to merge. Like so many others, you are still on the path, but you have taken many steps forward and you can look back without losing your direction. Your sense of balance is admirable, and those walking the path behind you look to you as an example.
poster:Tamar
thread:516873
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/517166.html