Posted by alexandra_k on May 1, 2005, at 21:02:06
In reply to Re: ok... i need a good rejection line, posted by rainbowbrite on May 1, 2005, at 20:36:51
> Yeah it makes sense, Although I never thought about them thinking of their students as kids LOL that is a good point. I think i may wait on it...it could be complicated :-)
Hmm. Well, not everyone feels the same way as I do. Certain lecturers gain themselves a reputation for having relationships with their grad students. Others date one of their students seriously and end up getting married. Academia tends to be fairly 'insestuous' I suppose... I think it all comes of only a few people in the world being able to understand you... ;-)
So not everyone feels like I do.
Besides which I tend to be attracted to people who are a bit older than me rather than younger.
And people who can teach me something - whereas the role in which I get to know my students is by me teaching them stuff and correcting their misunderstandings etc.
So it is probably worth a try if you are interested.
> >Do you think you hurt him?> Yup, pretty sure.
Whoops.
>I recently noticed a trend with myself. I am friendly in general too friendly maybe and I guess give off the wrong impression and so when they ask me Im like ..uh what? are you serious? LOL well not exactly but my face speaks for itself.
Ah. There isn't anything wrong with being friendly. But maybe it would be helpful to have something of a 'stock response' and to be able to control your facial expression so you don't hurt them more than necessary. Maybe aim for the 'I'm really very flattered but no thanks' - and be firm with the last bit if you need to reiterate.
> It is just certain guys, ones that I dont really like as friends but for some reason that is harder. Its not really a problem if im friendly with them. This particular guy has a friend who is really cute but well its too weird now.Ah.
> So with this guy I was truely shocked, it was so out of place and weird. I was very reactive and he looked pretty hurt. The awkward thing was that we had to be together for another 15 min longer alone after so it was so icky LOL. And he looked completely shocked and uncomfortable by my response.Whoops.
But still. It looks like he got the message, which is important.>So I really gave off friendly vibes to him I suppose. So maybe I should be less worried about a line and more worried about leading the wrong guys on :-)
>becasue I am very good when I am with guys I like hmmmm.
Yeah, but if you really do like someone then you act even more friendly than you do when you are just being friendly in general - right? I mean, if that is the case then I wouldn't worry about your general friendliness too much. Sometimes when people ask me out they say that they really like me - but they weren't too sure whether I liked them or whether I was just being friendly. My typical response is that if I liked them like that then they would know - there wouldn't be any doubt!
Unless I wasn't sure whether they liked me or whether they were just being generally friendly. I don't know... It gets complicated... I'm not that good at this either to tell you the truth. But: if you don't ask then you won't find out. He knows now. It may have been awkward at the time - but I am sure it isn't SOO bad.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:492431
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/492503.html