Posted by Susan47 on April 22, 2005, at 6:30:24
In reply to Re: Everything is my fault. » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2005, at 1:40:22
Be smarter than I was. Don't have children unless he's got it together, you know? Well established in his career, he knows how he wants to raise his children, you know, and you're in agreement. I made some stupid stupid mistakes, and I'm paying for them majorly. My kids do not live with me, and I feel half-dead all the time. Because I have no purpose, I feel no purpose in my life at all when they're not with me. I honestly wish I'd never met the man but then I wouldn't have these children, which are a source of joy and incredible heartache too. But right now my heart is black for their father, and it's a terrible place to be. I don't wish it on any woman. I know it's possible to have a good life, but it feels too late for me. I've had that feeling as long as I can remember and I can't shake it.
There's no shaking the inevitable, it feels like my life is really just over.
poster:Susan47
thread:487630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/487792.html