Posted by katherpoo1 on April 14, 2005, at 16:14:50
In reply to PS, posted by Miss Honeychurch on April 14, 2005, at 15:18:48
I have been on the receiving end of this... where people have kind of dropped out of my life for seemingly no reason. Or, in some cases, I had suspected they weren't doing too well, and that life had just become too hard to handle.
Usually I "knew" this when I would leave a concerned phone message or three and they wouldn't return my call... I've been burned too many times to invest much more than that -- I make sure they know I care, and I'm available if they need me... at that point I usually leave the ball in their court and say either we're not friends anymore OR they'll get in touch again when they're ready.
It HAS happened that a couple years down the line, some of my friendships have been rekindled. I've found that if it was a true friendship to begin with, you can pick up right where you left off. Yes, you kind of have to sort out what happened over the past few years, but if they cared for you and their egos aren't too big (i.e. feelings aren't SO HURT they can't get over it), they will welcome you back with open arms. It might be awkward at first but soon it will feel comfy all over again. Like your favorite pair of jeans (you know how they're a little stiff after you wash them, but they loosen up in no time?)... :)
I might suggest you explain what's been up with yourself, but devote as much time to being a friend to them -- they've probably had as much going on, in different ways perhaps -- but we've all got our stories to tell.
Phone or write... I dunno which is better. Do what is comfortable for you, sounds like it's a little scary either way!
I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted!
Kat
poster:katherpoo1
thread:484220
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/484256.html