Posted by AuntieMel on December 8, 2004, at 9:11:20
In reply to this is not a mother/daughter relationship!!!, posted by smokeymadison on December 7, 2004, at 20:39:20
Hah!
I don't think there is a rule for mother/daughter relationships. They are all different.
Following is my opinion, and my opinion only. Take with the proverbial lump of salt:
The primary importance is the protection of your siblings. If they are in a stable place and are doing well they should stay there. Period. I wouldn't even give her the (possibly false) hope that it could be reconsidered if she takes her meds.
Next (barely next, the first two are nearly equal) importanat thing is to protect yourself. You are of no good to yourself, your siblings or you mother if you don't take care of your own health.
Third - important, but not near as important as the other two - would be rebuilding a relationship. Provided of course that this is what you really want. In that, you will have to just build on what you have to work with. If she is bipolar, untreated, it won't resemble "normal" but that doesn't mean it can't be good.
As for her wanting to be like a friend, not a mother - that isn't at all surprising. She seems to have flunked mom101 and friend is the only thinh she knows how to do.
End of opinionated rant.
My mom was wonderful when we were little, but about the time I was in fifth grade she went into major depression and didn't get better until I was around 19. We have a great relationship now, but it is more like friends than mother/daughter. It's the hand we were dealt, it wasn't anyone's fault and we've made something out of it. I think you can too.
poster:AuntieMel
thread:425907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041207/msgs/426107.html