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mother/daughter relationship » smokeymadison

Posted by just plain jane on December 7, 2004, at 23:17:34

In reply to this is not a mother/daughter relationship!!!, posted by smokeymadison on December 7, 2004, at 20:39:20

Hi.

Although it is definitely not what would be considered a typical mother/daughter relationship, it is, in your case, factually so. However, you have every right to decide and act exactly as you feel is best.

I have a very shallow mother with very poor relationship skills and no sincere desire to improve that. She is eighty now. If I had realized the truth about her, and not wasted so much of my energy trying to foster a better relationship with her, when I was twenty, I would have prevented so many ugly scenes, such hurtful, nasty and downright mean behavior from her.

She is still an active person. Comes to visit once a year. I love her in that innate way a child loves a parent or a sibling, but each encounter anymore is so difficult. I just make sure I tell her I love her.

In your case, you are young. If I jumped into your shoes right now, the woman would NOT be getting custody of your siblings if I had any way of preventing it.

I say, try keeping things simple. Just refuse to get into issues with her. I sounds like she is a user and you are her favorite outlet. If you cut off contact, it can always be re-established later, if it is truly worth re-establishing.

Unfortunately, you alone can make these decisions.

jpj


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poster:just plain jane thread:425907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041207/msgs/425960.html