Posted by smokeymadison on December 7, 2004, at 20:39:20
The moment my dad walked out when i was 10, i became an equal in my mother's eyes. i took care of her when she was low and of my three siblings. when she was high (bipolar disorder) she drove all of us nuts with her hyperreligiousity and dating (weird combo, i know). i moved into my dad's house when i was 13 and couldn't handle her anymore. my siblings soon followed since i was not there to take care of them anymore. i cut off all contact for the next 4 years. i have gradually let her back into my life over the past 4 years. very slowly. we now talk twice a week on average for at least an hour at a time.
is this really healthy? she treats me like a best friend, not a daughter. three weeks ago when i was in the hospital i talked with her on the phone and she proceeded to dump all her problems on me. i mean, i was suicidual at the time and there she was dumping on me!
i am fine now--feeling well. but tonight she talked of how she wants custody of my two sisters who are 13 and 11. i told her point blank--before that could ever happen she would have to be on meds and in therapy. she considers all the herbal stuff she takes to be "meds" enough.
she talked over what i said--said she was hurt when i asked if i had hurt her feelings but that she knew that i was right--sort of (i don't believe she really thinks i am right).
this relationship is not a mother/daughter relationship, i know that, but i don't want to cut her out of my life. is it all right as long as i keep this fact in mind and be careful?
poster:smokeymadison
thread:425907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041207/msgs/425907.html