Posted by JenStar on November 6, 2004, at 15:00:25
In reply to Please Help!, posted by Susan47 on November 5, 2004, at 21:04:49
Susan, I just wanted to say that I feel for you! I have such a lame little example of being attached to a doctor -- it's nothing compared to yours, but I still felt sad about it. So I can only imagine how hard YOUR situation is.
Here's mine:
I saw a particular doctor, a specialist actually, for a condition. He was fantastic and I almost immediately developed a weird sort of crush on him: part transference, part admiration, part wishing I could do what he does, partly b/c he's cute, partly b/c he's nice, in no sense based on really knowing HIM (b/c I don't).
Having a crush on him it made my visits to him & some subsequent medical tests (done at a diff. place) more bearable b/c I actually looked FORWARD to the Dr. visits. I supposed an analyst might say that I developed a crush on him in order to mitigate the pain & fear of seeing a specialist; it makes him more human and makes the doctor visits less of a chore and more of a 'fun' event. (If they can ever be "fun.")
ANYWAY -- I no longer have the condition I did, and I called to cancel my latest apptmt with him b/c I don't need to go anymore. When I called to cancel, the receptionist told me that he was no longer at the office; he'd moved to another state to open a practice with a family member. She was willing to assign me to a diff. doc in the practice.
Although I'd only seen him a handful of times, and although I had not planned to see him again, I still felt kind of sad and desolate.
I mean, how lame is THAT? I didn't expect him to call every patient and say that he was moving, but I still felt sad. How can that be? How can I feel sad about this? I didn't know him -- we weren't friends, we weren't even acquaintances, and I only saw him 3 or 4 times total.
It's so dumb. It makes me mad at myself that I have this interest in him. Well, not mad EXACLTY -- having the crush def. helped me (the "old" JenStar who had such severe anxiety that she needed some kind of fun thought to get her through). But it's still odd to me, strange, that I feel 'abandoned'.
OH well.
such is life, right?But in any case, Susan -- I was reflecting on MY experience and felt that YOUR sadness must be MINE sadness multiplied by 100 or 1,000 or a million.
I wish you luck in getting thru it.
take care of yourself!JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:412382
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041106/msgs/412609.html