Posted by Rhapsody on October 20, 2004, at 11:27:38
In reply to Re: I miss him » Rhapsody, posted by AdaGrace on October 20, 2004, at 7:13:57
Hi AdaGrace,
I understand where you are coming from. It was my hope that Dazed would put the energy into saving her marriage rather than engage in behaviors that make her feel worse or guilty (as Dazed stated).
> Rhapsody,
> I know that you are trying to help, but I think that I agree with my therapist on this. Doing for others does not necessarily help someone with incredibly low self esteem. I have that problem and after the few talks with dazed, I think there are some self worth issues at play with her as well. It's hard to feel anything good for yourself when you feel you have played the part in a horrible crime, and to suggest that you "do something good for your husband" might not be the ticket to success here. I am sorry if this sounds like I am berating you, really I am not. I just want to try to explain to you that there is more to this story and perhaps your advice might actually work, but it could also make her feel even worse about herself and feel that she should constantly "do good things" for others in order to atone her sins. I don't feel that is the case. We have to love ourselves and we are not responsible for other people's happyness. I do believe that.
>
> Dazed, please tell me you are okay. I sent you a babblemail. If you want to talk, I'm here. I understand.
poster:Rhapsody
thread:403807
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/405117.html