Posted by alexandra_k on April 5, 2014, at 16:07:16
In reply to Re: don't know what to do, posted by alexandra_k on April 3, 2014, at 22:40:52
i emailed my keyworker, you see. you know, the one who was always SO VERY HAPPY to see me. He was all, like, totally impressed that I was verbal, or something. I said that I wasn't a good fit to work with him or the OT... No fault... Just not good fit. Said that I felt I was able to relate to the doc more (e.g., that she was able to summarize back accurately what she just heard me say, form reasonable inferences about how I'd likely feel / what I'd likely think about what I just said, and even manage to demonstrate good inter-personal boundaries with her not taking things defensively and blaming me). If they could refer me on to someone I might be better suited to working with, I'd be grateful..
His response was: That they were going to discharge me from the service. Like what I asked my OT to do.
My response:
That was what OT heard me say? Interesting...
I have empathy. I know what's going on. They are doing the whole defensive thing. They are taking it as a personal insult that I don't want to work with either of them and are responding by 'remembering' a bunch of stuff that serves their ego. Because they can't cope. They can't even cope well enough to know when something is beyond their coping. They can't / won't refer me on... Because their ego can't handle that. I've been here before... He couldn't even respond to my actual email. Instead he responds to what someone told him they heard me say. In spite of my very first point. Did I not make myself sufficiently clear? I'm shocked. I mean... How could he possibly be so quick to discharge me when he was SO VERY HAPPY TO SEE me and all. Wait... Was he SO VERY HAPPY because really he wasn't? For reals? No... I never would have guessed... Given that I'm lacking in empathy and all...
All this is because... I simply can't find it in me to act sufficiently impressed at the information that OT managed to pick up off her weekend course or whatever it was that she did. You know, after she took about as much interest in her degree as people over the bridge tend to take it in. Spending hours chatting to their friends about lunch... Because they can't really find it in them to give very much of a sh*t... So they can groan at their lecturers for being big meanie a-holes for trying to get them to read a bit more and perhaps deepen their understanding and... You know... Actually have enough information behind them to be able to employ that effectively in the actual assistance of persons one day. I'm supposed to be all like 'oh, no I know nothing about arousal levels. It never occurred to me that I might want to avoid coffee in the evenings and do soothing stuff when I'm trying to calm down. I mean... I did DBT and I've done however many undergraduate and graduate courses in Psychology... I mean... I've done more reading on the subject (textbooks and peer reviewed academic journals) as a hobby interest in my spare time than she's probably done in the whole of her degree...
All I asked was to be able to relate to a person. But they can't do that. Personally... I think it's because their personhood is severely limited / lacking.
Who's the sick one again? Who'se supposed to be looking after who? Who gets paid... Who has the power... F*ck*ng farce.
And millions are probably saved... By the 2/3 or so of the people who won't have f*ck*ng anything to do with the public mental health service in this country. For obvious reasons. Their strategy seems to be to employ the most obnoxious, the dumbest, the most severely f*ck*d up individuals they possibly can... Advertise 'just ask for help. Just ASK'. Any reasonable person will shudder... It isn't malevolence. Exactly. Incompetence... Borderline. Not enough for fault. But mental health is so very much easier than most to scare people off... Just show sufficient insensitivity of confidentiality or or the more sensitive aspects of a person's life... Easy. I mean... Suicide goes up (we are one of the highest in the world, I believe). But the savings on hospitalisations and help obviously makes that worthwhile.
I am very f*ck*ng angry.
I feel sick.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1062034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1063709.html