Posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2014, at 23:19:01
In reply to Re: i think i won't go back, posted by alexandra_k on April 2, 2014, at 18:59:00
i could write a letter to p-doc. i think i can find her first name somewhere...
i could email the guy... and he might pass it onto her... discuss it in a team meeting or whatever. i guess if i sent a letter it would get discussed in a team meeting, too...
i basically don't click with him... and he is meant to be my keyworker. he is all busy being impressed at my ability to vocalise and he is all yes and nodding along... but he fails the comprehension checks pretty badly... and he says he'll do things and he doesn't do them without an awful lot of prodding...
and i basically don't click with her... because she's... exhausted, i guess. she doesn't like / empathise with me at all, really. she simply doesn't get my pov. she bristles a lot at the things that upset me... in other words... i can't talk to her about anything that i'm actually upset / distressed about. it needs to be well processed before it gets to her. which makes her... more of a liability. if that makes sense. she's tryign to keep me at arms length with her not relating to me as a person... fend me off with forms and little speels (not like max, mind) on arousal levels and such.
i don't quite know what to say in the letter. that i don't click with these people. try again? try some other people? i don't know that that can be done. and even if it could be done what makes me think that other people would work out better. the KIND of people who want to do that kind of job who want to work with typical patient... are not the kind of people who want a bar of me... i don't know what to do.
worst thing is that she's got a bunch of stuff all up in her head about what went wrong. stuff that makes it out to be my fault. my unreasonable expectations etc. you know, so her ego can deal. these are stories that she tells to herself.... and these are stories that she'll no doubt tell to others (at length). her ego will require that... people believe her stories. that people shun me. that people not have anything to do with me... because if it turned out that some other person could work well with me / help me then her ego couldn't deal with that.
pretty sure i've been here before...
why is it that the people who i need the most protection from... are mostly appointed to help me? whose bright f*ck*ng idea that one was...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1062034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1063595.html