Posted by Twinleaf on September 1, 2013, at 18:54:10
In reply to Re: Ideal Therapist » alexandra_k, posted by Poet on September 1, 2013, at 15:38:05
The main thing that counts with therapists is their ability to help you feel (and be) better. I think a sense of humor is wonderful, especially in stressful moments, but what really helps, I think, is that you are with someone who "gets" you, and knows how to let you know that. I personally don't care for a huge amount of empathy; I like it to be real between us. There are three things which I have found to be wonderful:
1. Being kept steadily in his/her mind, as a good-enough mother does with her infant.
2. Having unexpected "moments of meeting", when the connection you have deepens.
3. Rupture and Repair - identifying areas where we have misunderstood one another, even about something trivial, and working together to regain a unified sense of understanding.
I have gained an enormous amount from the therapist I presently have, and I think these are some of the important things which have been happening. Honestly, though, the most important factor may be an undefinable, but all-important good fit.
poster:Twinleaf
thread:1049989
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130807/msgs/1050007.html