Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2013, at 6:36:59
In reply to Re: therapist tough love?, posted by froyo on January 24, 2013, at 22:05:02
My therapist says that when he "pushes", I push back. Or sometimes he says I bite when challenged.
I think he exaggerates a bit. But there's no doubt that I don't respond particularly well to what some therapists like to think as "directness". I always say that I don't particularly care for unvarnished truths. I prefer my truths beveled, polished, and served in a palatable setting.
But I imagine it depends on the client, as well as on the manner the tough love is delivered. Does the love shine through, or at least appear as the bedrock under the "tough"? Or did it seem more as if, as you said, she was having a sh*tty day and relieving her frustrations? Were your needs uppermost in the session?
I find some CBT terminology downright offensive, and more time is spent clarifying and maintaining the relationship than actually working when he uses it. I suppose that might mean that it totally p*sses me off, although I prefer to think of it as hurting me and making me feel defensive. I prefer it when we're working together, and CBT sometimes doesn't strike me that way.
But to be fair to her, I've heard many people say they appreciated tough love from their therapists. I suppose a good therapist can be flexible in approach.
poster:Dinah
thread:1022442
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120922/msgs/1036725.html