Posted by TemporarilyBob on October 26, 2012, at 3:48:44
In reply to Re: Have you seen her again? How did it go?, posted by froyo on October 26, 2012, at 3:03:44
> Yea, I'm running out of sessions too. I just had my 7th one today. We get 10 per calendar year so luckily i snuck 2 in before the year switched over, so in essence i get 12 free ones. if i had the school insurance rather than just the school supplement and an outside insurance, I could keep seeing this therapist with a small copay (like 10-$15), but because I don't have the school insurance and they don't take outside insurance, once my 10 are up, I'm SOL (although they don't limit the number of sessions through the career counseling office--where I've been going every few weeks for about a year, and they have the same type of counseling degrees, but I'm not sure if they can consult with the primary care doctor... It's something I should look into)
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> I have many friends who don't use their free sessions, but there's no way to transfer them over...
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> I recently switched to wellbutrin after being on citalopram since the beginning of september (I'd rather be in emotional pain than be numb, personal preference though).
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> And as far as therapy goes, I feel like i end up rehashing everything i say each time, and coming up with more issues in my life, ha. I'm not so sure I'll feel resolved enough by the time my sessions are done (as my therapist thinks that my depression is mostly situational and current issues are exacerbating issues that I've repressed from long ago).Yeah, like I've said, some things don't change.
From your last paragraph, I'm saying this hopefully as a buffer. You see it happening already. When I got bounced from place to place, I too relived my pains and each time it got worse. One thing that might make it harder on you, sorry to say, is the time period it takes for ADs to reach their "therapeutic level" ... by the time your Wellbutrin gets to that point, you might no longer have people around you to help you examine its efficacy.
That's why you have to be your own advocate, even tho this is probably the most difficult time to be that for yourself. You cannot give up. You have to make them take notice. I did not do that, and I will not describe the road that took me down. But I will say this: I was just in a similar situation. I was basically "out-of-options" when it came to treatment. My therapist (600 miles away from me now) gave me the best advice. If you have no other options, go to the psych ER. Do NOT play nice, do not try to minimize what you are going through. Play it up, instead. Force people to notice you and your needs, and do not stop doing so until they begin to address them.
I don't know if that would have worked for me as an undergrad 30 years ago. But I can say that with the way our health system is set up now, or as of Labor Day weekend moving forward, it has worked for me. It may force you out of the university system's health care network and onto your state or county's system, but that would be a Good Thing (tm) if the university's system has pooped itself out in terms of the care the university is willing to give you.
I lost 15 years of my life to my disability because my university gave up on me, mostly due to protocols and established procedures that disregarded people in favor of budget lines. Don't let it happen to you. Fight for what you deserve, which is the same level of care anyone with a "visible" disorder would receive.
And if I can preach on one more thing -- it's fine to refer to yourself as f*ck*d *p since that's how the "rationals" understand people who think or feel "irrationally", but never believe it for a second in your heart. Those "rationals" are the same people who believe things like "cloud computing can be affected by thunderstorms" (51% in a recent survey) or that playing the same numbers on the lottery week after week improves their chances of winning (sure, only when the Law of Large Numbers comes into play, which is as the sample of random events approaches infinity). Or, as in the case of a brother of mine, that talk radio hosts with expertise in and desire for manipulating others know more than a team of doctors with several centuries of combined medical experience about the cause, nature and treatment of PTSD. "Rational" people do not use rational thinking most of the time. To keep with a probability framework, it's not that you or I are acting irrationally where "normal" people act rationally -- they are just as often irrational tho not as much irrational. We take it several deviations beyond the mean. That just makes us exceptional, not rational or irrational.
Great wits are sure to madness near allied,
And thin partitions do their bounds divide.
poster:TemporarilyBob
thread:1022442
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120922/msgs/1029842.html