Posted by Dinah on July 16, 2011, at 19:41:39
In reply to Re: Techniques, posted by antigua3 on July 16, 2011, at 18:06:07
My therapist treats me different than I've seen him treat other clients. Mostly because he's known me longer, but also because I'm a different person with different needs.
He's actually told me that with the population he often treats, he's seen more as a guide than a traditional therapist and that there isn't the same dynamic as there is with me, where he's a parental figure. Mind you, I strongly suspect he underestimates the power imbalance in even therapeutic relationships that seem peer to peer. But what do I know. I do suppose it would be badly received if he treated some clients with the somewhat distant avuncular affection he adopts with me. While I'd be quite put out with him if he adopted a more peer to peer stance with me. I think he puts more importance in speaking in a way the client can hear than he does on technical purity.
Besides, each relationship really is different. If he was the same person with every client, would he actually be in relationship or just practicing a technique? I'm sure you have some friends you are sillier with than others, and some friends you are more serious and thoughtful with?
In what way does it seem "lesser than"?
If I remember, didn't he set out to be a counterpoint to the warmth of your therapist? Maybe it is an intentional stance based on what he believes you need. Would you actually appreciate being treated the way you see him treat others? I'd have the hide of mine, in the very nicest way possible, if he greeted me with a hail fellow, well met attitude.
Do you have the sort of relationship with him that you can ask? One of the very best parts of a long term therapy relationship is the ability to ask a question and receive a thoughtful reply. Eventually. Since at times he seems to require a fair amount of time to apply thought. It might be interesting, should he admit the truth of your observations, to discover how he came to decide what you need from him. Or what quality in you he's responding to.
poster:Dinah
thread:990825
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/991191.html