Posted by lola2 on April 26, 2011, at 5:27:42
In reply to Re: perplexed » lola2, posted by wittgensteinz on April 25, 2011, at 12:17:25
> I guess the question is how to get to the bottom of it - why are you mad at him? Is it negative transference (are you transferring negative feelings from another earlier relationship onto your relationship with him? - that's not easy to answer) or is it more straightforward - is he just doing something wrong, that is upsetting you in some way? (From what you wrote, it sounds more like transference.)
this is where i am confused. he has done some things that have made me angry but when we discuss it i feel like he is implying that i shouldn't be. he isnt saying that but thats what im taking. maybe it is a combination of both>
> My therapist once said to me that anger is really an expression of sadness. Could it be that you feel disappointment, shame or guilt either toward him or as a reaction to the process but that these 'raw feelings' are too overwhelming and therefore being camouflaged as anger (perhaps an emotion easier to deal with)?maybe, yes. it could be im angry i have to feel all this pain.
>
> My feeling is that you shouldn't quit but keep going further into that anger (as much as you can tolerate). It sounds like he can take it, which is good.
>
> Wittithanks witti, i think you are right, i hope i stick it out.
poster:lola2
thread:983676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/983774.html