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Re: perplexed » lola2

Posted by wittgensteinz on April 25, 2011, at 12:17:25

In reply to perplexed, posted by lola2 on April 24, 2011, at 21:59:19

Lola,

It doesn't sound pleasant but I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing (I guess it depends a bit on the type of therapy you are doing with him).

Strong feelings of love and hate (and rage) come up in therapy - they're not 'wrong', they just are.

I guess the question is how to get to the bottom of it - why are you mad at him? Is it negative transference (are you transferring negative feelings from another earlier relationship onto your relationship with him? - that's not easy to answer) or is it more straightforward - is he just doing something wrong, that is upsetting you in some way? (From what you wrote, it sounds more like transference.)

My therapist once said to me that anger is really an expression of sadness. Could it be that you feel disappointment, shame or guilt either toward him or as a reaction to the process but that these 'raw feelings' are too overwhelming and therefore being camouflaged as anger (perhaps an emotion easier to deal with)?

My feeling is that you shouldn't quit but keep going further into that anger (as much as you can tolerate). It sounds like he can take it, which is good.

Witti

 

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