Posted by Daisym on February 23, 2011, at 13:33:09
In reply to Re: I think the weather in h*ll must be chilly, posted by Solstice on February 23, 2011, at 12:33:23
God-awful painful is a phrase I use a great deal as well when describing theraputic ruptures.
Dinah - I could have written most of what you wrote. I think you summed it up very well - growing up *is* lonely. I think that perhaps this is one of those things that equal rights among sexes has inadvertantly destroyed - the feeling safe in the world because someone is "taking care of you." Men, at one time, protected their wives and were OK with being stronger, etc. Women nurtured their husbands, and were OK with making them feel like king of the castle. The mother/father aspects of relationships, as long as they were kept in check, I think were really good for people.
As I've repaired the giant rupture with my own therapist, I'm very aware that he really isn't magic and that makes me so, so sad. I guess I really didn't realize how much I wanted/needed to close out the world during sessions and feel safe, completely and totally safe, in a way I'd never been. So that worked for a while. But as I've grown, and taken back my own history, I can't drop the world at the door anymore.
We've been trying to talk about goals for my life - what do I want and what makes me happy? I really don't know but I feel very emotional trying to discuss it with him. I want HIM to know what will make me happy and provide the magic answer. He keeps wondering what makes this so hard to talk about. And I think you said it - it feels like the beginning of the end of therapy. I don't "need" him anymore, I'm choosing to go. Which is great, if it was anyone else. It is good to be healthy enough to not need therapy - think of the shoes I could buy?!
*sigh*
We need a whole different Camp Comfort this.
poster:Daisym
thread:979635
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110206/msgs/979673.html