Posted by Annabelle Smith on February 16, 2011, at 22:42:56
In reply to Re: do i stay, do i go? (label?), posted by emmanuel98 on February 16, 2011, at 22:30:51
I appreciate your response,
but actually, the very idea here makes me extremely upset. I can't take a break from therapy, because this therapist is so important for my healing, I know. I feel like, as painful as this is, the intensity is an indication of problems that are becoming more clear. it is hard to stay...but I *can't go. I think I feel the same way about life.I feel like he is a gift from God, he is the one who is sitting with me in this chaos-- the only one in my life who is doing this-- and is guiding me through the darkness in which there is no light. The distress comes from feeling like i don't have enough time, and i need all the seconds i can get.
he is trying to help me let go, to embrace a new way of thinking and being in the world.
Sometimes I have thought about it like a doctor who finds a cancer in a patient, and has to open up the wound very deep in order to help heal.
It is very intense. But without seeing him, there would be no one with whom i could share any of this. we have talked about in my session today, how therapy is like a "microcosm" (his word) or "meta-situation" (my word) of my life in all other areas. the problems in all other areas play themselves out here.
I should report one area in which i do see progress in my life: sometimes I feel more confident and sometimes even more real in my day-to-day interactions with people. i noticed as early as last year that interpersonal interactions that would normally cause me great anxiety had more or less left these situations and just centered themselves completely and totally in the therapeutic relation.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:979444
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110206/msgs/979446.html