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another perspective

Posted by pegasus on December 27, 2010, at 9:40:46

In reply to busy, busy therapist, posted by pegasus on December 10, 2010, at 10:35:51

If anyone is still interested in this, I thought I'd post a response that I got from another T that I know in my personal life. This one I really respect and would totally want to work with, if it wasn't a dual relationship (because I know her from another part of my life).

What she said was that when she hears about these Ts with really big practices, it's always men. She thinks that men tend to have an ability to be more separate from what's going on in the room. Not that they aren't fully present, but that it somehow doesn't affect them as much as it tends to affect women. Women tend to unconsciously (most of the time) take on more responsibility for the emotional environment due to our socialization. So, having a lot of clients is more draining for women.

Also, she pointed out that men tend to have a different attitude about work in general. They tend to be more identified with their jobs, so being able to handle more (and taking on as much as one can handle) can be a path to self-validation, and seeing oneself as a more effective, valuable person. Women tend to identify more with the overall balance of their lives. So putting that much energy into work tends to have more negative connotations.

I found that interesting, and plausible.

I'm feeling better about the whole thing now. But I think I still need to revisit in therapy that fear of being lost in the crowd, and the pain around being told that it's OK to matter.

- p

 

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