Posted by Solstice on December 16, 2010, at 14:51:33
In reply to we talked about it, posted by pegasus on December 16, 2010, at 11:59:59
Wow Peg. I'm so glad you wrote all this down - if I were you I'd carry it in my pocket - to take it out and read it when well-being falters. As for your comment about it being painful to hear him saying things that clearly indicated that he considers you and your needs to have value.. omg Peg.. I KNOW that experience!For me, it was painful to 'hear' that stuff from my therapist for several different reasons. I think it was painful to feel the neglected little girl in me so tentatively soak it up - for one I was afraid it would be yet another mirage, and for two it put me toe to toe with the painful loss of having been so neglected for so long. More than anything else - I was so very afraid to believe my therapist's care was real enough to rely on. That was really painful. My T kept talking about that attachment thing.. and I worked so hard to avoid allowing myself to feel attached. It was like I had my eyes shut tight with one hand covering them while I looked the other way, grimaced, and let my other hand stay in general proximity to my T. If any attaching was gonna happen - believe me - it was going to happen 'accidentally' :-)
And accidentally it did happen. And I can say the words. I'm attached to my therapist. I'm not afraid of it any longer. I'm not afraid of feeling important. Funny thing.. I got a text from T this morning at 6:45am. I knew T was going on a trip and would be getting back just as I left for my holiday trip - and we'd be going nearly 3 weeks. So I get this text saying "if by chance you need to contact me while I'm in Cartagena [Columbia], call this number xxx-xxx-xxxx, and ask for me. I'll be back in the states on the 20th & you can get me on my phone then." Talk about leaving me feeling like I matter! I know I'm not going to need to make contact - but I feel so cared for to have been left a way to do it if I felt the need.
Reading about your experience just filled me with warmth. I'm so glad you shared it.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:973080
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/973718.html