Posted by mystickangaroo on September 24, 2010, at 23:46:05
In reply to borderline personality disorder, posted by Annabelle Smith on September 24, 2010, at 21:40:49
Welcome Annabelle
So sad that you feel as you do but good that you found psychobabble.
I feel the way you do. Not all the time but definitely have had long nights of ALONE. And the whole panic of therapy Oh yeah sister I have been there. I have to travel 7hrs all up to get there and back and the pressure to make every second count is HUGE. I tell my self it is the effort of getting there that makes thereapy hard but that is not true. It is sitting there being honest with another human being whom I adore that I am feeling lower than a snake's bottom and thinking she thinks that too.
It has taken us (me) over a year for me to be able to sit still in her office. I still find eye contact a monumental effort. My T has only just realised how painful all this is for me ( I had her "fooled" because I am good at research and know a bit aobut pysch) OK I admitted how out of control my insides are so now she is not going to do any therapy with me til I can sit and drink a cup off coffee with her with me knowing that I am safe. Goodness only knows how long that will take...
My T hates diagnosis. She says that they can become prescriptive and what difference does it make as I am in therapy and working with her to find a new way of being so I have started to change so what ever the issue is it is changing...
And I am good at finding labels and living up to them so I am doing my best to trust her and not 2nd guess what is happening just trust the process. (Scares me witless some days but that is part of the process for me too!!)Take care of yourself and be gentle. not easy I know. Reality is you are doing the best you can today.
poster:mystickangaroo
thread:963658
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/963666.html