Posted by deerock on December 13, 2009, at 10:14:58
i seem to be going back and forth between having insight into myself and realizing that i push people away and trap them into feeling scared of me....and feeling like it's the people who get scared who are at fault and not a destrucive pattern i play out.
what is scary about this...is when i think its other people's fault, i have very little insight into it. its as if in that moment, i actually believe it i did nothing wrong, didnt push anyone away and that people just misunderstand me.
to be more specific, in this recent situation where my T got scared of me, i sometimes see i tried to get her to be afraid and to feel i was horrible. i succeeded. and other times, i feel like its not my fault, if she was smart enough, that would have never happened. and when i think its not my fault if she was smart enough...i actually believe that its true. maybe this makes no sense.
is this odd?
poster:deerock
thread:929077
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929077.html