Posted by lingonberry on December 10, 2009, at 5:44:44
In reply to a letter to my therapist...., posted by deerock on December 9, 2009, at 17:19:06
Hi, deerock,
I understand that your dependency is a big problem for you, and from my perspective you might also have some kind of resistance right now. Why do I sense this? Because it seems to me that you are thinking in terms of black and white and therefore you are not able to come up with any solutions, its either or
Regarding your own solution, I think there is no conflict in doing both continue your therapy AND start to look out for yourself between the sessions. Im sure you have a lot of reasons for being angry, but your T is probably not the source, even if it feels like that. I know its tough, but at some point, you have to try to link your feelings against your T to your past, even if you cant remember anything yet.
Try to stay with your feelings between the sessions, observe them and listen to the thoughts that follows. What do you say to yourself and how does it make you feel? Do I recognize this thoughts and feelings? Have I felt this way before? And then share this with your T. Try to talk to your T about your feelings towards her instead of acting them out. Its nothing wrong in doing that, dont put more guilt on yourself, thats the way we communicate with our T before we remember our past, thats the way we let our T know what has happened to us.
Regarding your dependency in many cases, therapy works this way. But I think for various reasons some people develop more dependency than others and therefore, cutting down on therapy to twice a week can be beneficial. But I dont know. Only you can decide whats best for you. But my experience is that we are supposed to live with our T 24/7 - for a period of time. Thats quite normal if weare in a long-term therapy.
I used to communicate A LOT with my T for about 2 years, at least. I thought about him when I woke up, and then on and off (most on) during the whole day, and the last thought on my mind before I was going to sleep was directed to him. Everything was about my T and therapy. Under this period I often thought that I REALLY NEED to talk to a second T about my feelings towards my first T. (LOL) I know you are hurting and I wish the best for you.
Lingonberry
poster:lingonberry
thread:928664
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091022/msgs/928716.html